How Modern Times Have Effected Loneliness

In the poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, the narrator contemplates his sense of loneliness and lack of belonging in the world. He questions if he can change his introverted, shy ways, and how his actions will effect the world. Some might say that the narrator has depression or another mental illness, a conclusion drawn from the nature of this mans thoughts. Depression is something that, today, millions of people suffer from. But why are there no cases of depression from the past? This is in part because depression was not a termed mental illness long ago, it only became so fairly recently. But more than that, one big difference separates the past life from modern times - technology. The spreading of information is now faster than would have ever seemed feasible one hundred years ago. And as a result, media. A culture shaped by what is on the screens in front of them. Today, everywhere you go there is something telling you what is the best food to eat, the nicest clothes to wear, the comfiest shoes, and the coolest places to visit. Before technology existed, there was nothing for people to compare their life to, except for those directly around them. But today, on the flipside, you have instant access to a look at anyone's life around the country thanks to social media.

 Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and many more networks are ways for people to connect with old and current friends, or people they don't know, or ways to start blogs and channels with millions of subscribers and followers. You can even follow celebrities and check out what their day to day life is like. But is social media really helping people to connect, or is it tearing them apart?

People are selective about what they put on their social media accounts, so what you see is not always what that life consists of entirely. You will see the high lights of someone's day - parties, twinning with a co-worker, or a pretty flower they saw on the way to work. But not often do people show the real stuff - the hour drive to work with nobody to talk to, being ditched in a date, and sitting alone watching Netflix for hours. So when someone compares their life to someone's life online, it can be painful. We see all the "fun" they are having, and feel resentful and jealous, and mad at ourselves. Because of this access to other people's lives, it can be very easy to feel bad about your own.

On top of that, people are constantly tweeting, instagramming and face booking pictures of sweet gestures their loved ones do for them, proposals, and intimate moments of their lives. Seeing these on our screens and wondering "when will this happen to me?" creates a lot of sad, lonely feelings in a person.

Before all this existed, you couldn't see as easily what another persons life was like, so comparing lives wasn't as easy as opening an app on your phone, and it wasn't as accessible as your back pocket. So that could be a way that technology has increased mental illness.

Along with that, in the past one hundred or so years, media has been taking over our every day lives as well. Books, movies, music, TV shows and advertisements everywhere depict all the products you should be buying, what house you should live in, what type of clothes you should wear, how fun getting high is, and so on. Having this constant omnipresent voice speaking in our heads all the time about how we should be living our lives can make simply living how we want to be very hard. Before media was infiltrating every part of the daily life, people could make their own choices and not be worried about whether they were buying the right brand or listening to the coolest bands.

Finally, urbanization has changed the world drastically. With the sharp increases in world population, people have been moving to cities to find jobs and simply to live the city life. But being so close to other people creates a lot of problems, too. Going back to comparing lives, you could be walking the streets of New York, doing your daily errands, when you see tons of couples walk by holding hands, or a flash mob performing, or a proposal on a street corner, or if you are at the airport and you see people reunited after time spent apart, or men buying flowers for their ladies, it can create a sense of loneliness for a person.  Seeing all of these nice, romantic gestures surrounding you when they went happening to you is painful, and makes you lose patience for when you might find love.

Back to J. Alfred Prufrock, who lived in a modern time as well. Although his time didn't quite have all the technology as today, media and urbanization was prevalent in this time, and could heavily effect the outcome of a persons life. Prufrock is seeing women coming and going and talking of Michaelangelo, as he says. This can be two things; the urbanization, and the media effecting what should be considered right. The urbanization has pushed his life closer to that of these women, so he sees them often and wonders if he could be with them. And their talking of Michaelangelo is evidence of media telling them and in turn telling him what they want in a man and what he needs to be, as a man, respectfully.

When Prufrock is assessing his physical appearance, and wonders about the comments people will make on his balding hair and his skinny arms, this is evidence of media saying what is right and wrong in a person. The media had been showing less and less of old, balding men and more of young, buff men as the suitable companion for a woman. So he worries that with his lack of hair and his skinny arms, he won't be able to find a lady.

The lonely men that Prufrock sees is another example of how urbanization can effect loneliness, except rather than him seeing the good lives of others he sees other men in his shoes and thinks that there is no hope for him, since so many others are lonely, too.

Throughout the poem, Prufrock is identifying with certain factors of modern times that really prove how technology has effected the likelihood of mental illnesses. From media to urbanization, technology makes people feel isolated, impatient and lonely because of the lack of belonging they have and the jealousy of others lives. I believe that because of technology, mental illnesses are much more likely and are more prevalent in people in modern times than in the past.

Culural Relativism: A Response to the Rachels' Essays

The Rachels' essay give a thorough analysis of the downfalls of cultural relativism, but it also shows how the theory can be a lesson to people. The issues presented in the essay are faced almost day to day in modern times, and often in literature as well. In the book Things Fall Apart, the issue is presented through the struggles of the Igbo tribe when the Europeans come through and ultimately refute the Igbo's way of life. If the Europeans had understood the main principles of Cultural Relativism, then it is possible that the Igbo tribe could have been spared.

This concept can be related to today's issues as well. A simple example would be in the topic of abortion. Abortion is a nationally disputed issue in the United States. Everyone take sides; pro-choice or pro-life. And just like as said in the Rachels' essays, each side believes that they are completely right and the other is so wrong that it is disgusting and inhumane. But who really is right?

in this case, I would suggest looking at the last two pages of the Rachels' essay to look at this issue more objectively. The second point that Rachels makes about what can be learned from Cultural Realtivism is that it can help a person be more open-minded. In the case of abortion, the pro-choice activists are typically democrats, while the pro-life activists are typically republican and often Christians. The Christians value life because of their religion; God put each person into this world by choice, no pregnancy is a mistake, and life is valued at the highest because each of us was made by the Creator. Even in the situation of a pregnancy as a result of rape, pro-life activists would say that God chose to have that child be created, and that it is not our will to take away that childs life. Through every situation, pro-life side says that abortion is immoral and disgusting.

Pro-choice activists on the other hand, have a more open-minded perspective. They say that it is up to the mother to decide whether or not she births a child, no matter the situation. They believe in the free will. To them, they see pro-life as disgusting because it is making the decision for someone else, and to them that is immoral and cruel.

If either side could consider the open-mindedness of Cultural Relativism, maybe this problem could be solved in a more civilized way. Pro-life activists might see that it is wrong to take away another persons basic rights of having the choice to give birth - it is their body after all, why shouldn't they e granted that choice? But pro-choice activists could see that in reality, only 1% of abortions are a result of incest or rape, and the rest are just unprotected sex or other like-accidents.

No matter the situation, a Cultural Relativism is useful in helping people to be more open-minded and respect the decisions of others in their community. It is wrong for someone to say another persons opinions are wrong simply based off their own beliefs, so Cultural Relativism helps people to see the world more broadly, and open their mind to other ideas.

The Origin of Heroes

“Unconsciously we all have a standard by which we measure other men, and if we examine closely we find that this standard is a very simple one, and is this: we admire them, we envy them, for great qualities we ourselves lack. Hero worship consists in just that. Our heroes are men who do things which we recognize, with regret, and sometimes with a secret shame, that we cannot do. We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else.” 

-Mark Twain

A hero is someone we look up to for having certain qualities that we admire. And what makes us admire these qualities? There isn't a set list of qualities that each of us admires, or at least admire enough to call someone a hero. It's the experiences we've had, the environment that we grew up in, envy and sympathy that make us admire a certain quality in another person.

Everyone can see their own flaws. When you look in the mirror, it is likely more often that you see the bad things - fly aways, pimples, scars - than the good things. Although the good things are there, you don't see them because it is human nature to see what is wrong with ourselves. This goes the same for your personality - we tend to dwell on our faults and past mistakes, because we are burdened with regret. Our shame as a result of self-reflection from our own personality that leads to envying others, because we can see where we fall short of other people's good qualities. When we see someone that is more diligent than us, or that handles stress better, or gets better grades or is a better singer, we feel ashamed. We see what qualities we lack, and how another person seems to have them naturally, so we aspire to instill those qualities in our life, and in the process we put that person on a pedestal of sorts, making them a role model/hero in some ways.

Another way a hero is made is from the environment with which we grew up. Say that you are the oldest child, and you got stuck babysitting younger siblings all the time. Because of this, you can
sympathize with someone who also had to babysit younger siblings. So if you hear about a person who watched three kids almost every day while their parents worked, made dinner, got their homework done and balanced school activities on top of all that, you would understand how hard that must have been, and admire their strength and perserverance. This is just one example of how the environment you grew up in can create a hero in someone. Another would be of how you were raised; if you were raised to hold doors for people, or put school first, or something of the like, these standards would be important to you, and seeing someone else do them with ease would likely give you inspiration to try harder and be more like them, making them your hero.

Experiences could be another thing that influence what qualifies someone as a hero to us. If someone had a near death experience, a car crash for example, and someone else came to rescue them, that
person would become a hero to them. Whether it was just another citizen or a firefighter, their strength and bravery would be admired, and the person would feel in debt to them. Once and done experiences can heavily influence what qualities we value in ourselves and others, therefore creating
our standards for what a hero is.

So when you think of a hero, it is likely coming from envy, experiences you've had or the environment you grew up in that makes you think of a hero as a hero. Your experiences and growing environment shape who you are and what you value, and your values and morals are reflected in your heroes and role models.

Racism: Behind the Scenes

In the prologue of Invisible Man, by Ralph Ellison, the narrator says, "Or again, you often doubt if you really exist. You wonder whether you aren't simply a phantom in other people's minds. Say, a figure in a nightmare which the sleeper tries with all his strength to destroy. It's when you feel like this that, out of resentment, you begin to bump people back. And, let me confess, you feel that way most of the time. You ache with the need to convince yourself that you do exist in the real world, that you're a part of all the sound and anguish, and you strike out with your fists, you curse and you swear to make them recognize you. And, alas, it's seldom successful." In this context, it is being used to describe the life and feelings of a black person in a racist world. Today, many people claim that racism is dead, America is a home of the free and a country of equal opportunity and so on - but is it really?

People in the lesbian, gay, transgender and bisexual (LGBT) community face bullying and discrimination every day. These people try to blend in, and try to hide who they are. They try to make themselves invisible, like that of the narrator in Invisible Man, described in the quote above. And when their cover blows, the effects can be devastating. They get tormented for being who they are, and are constantly ridiculed with derogatory words and sometimes even physical abuse. According to an article on bullyingstatistics.com, nine out of ten LGBT teens reported being bullied at school. Of those, half reported being physically harassed, and another quarter reported being physically assaulted. Twenty-eight percent of LGBT teens feel forced to drop out of school, and according to voilencepreventionworks.com, twenty two percent skipped school over the course of just a month because they felt unsafe.

But it doesn't stop there - from a young age, kids hear derrogatory words thrown around about sexual orientation, and it becomes acceptable to say those things, and it also becomes an insult to be associated with those words. Many straight kids are called these things just based on their appearance - so now it becomes ok to insult someone on their personality based off of your opinion on how they look? This is what America is teaching their children. Land of the free, I'll say.

What's worst might not even be the fact that they are bullied - sure, everyone gets bullied. I was made fun of for being short, for acting silly, for being a Christian, and so many other things. But when I was bullied, I felt safe going to my teacher and saying, "Mrs. Summers, David is making fun of me again for calling me short," and I knew that the problem would be solved. David would get a final warning, and the problem never resurfaced. But teens in the LGBT community get ruthlessly bullied, and then when they want help, they often don't ask for it because they are afraid that the teachers and supervisors around them won't help them because they are intolerant to their lifestyle.

Intolerant to their lifestyle.

We have created a society where kids feel as if they have to take the bullying, teasing, and physical abuse that comes to them because the people they look up to won't help them.

How messed up is that?

Now, back to Invisible Man, the book that got the opening quote for this blog entry. In Invisible Man, the narrator fights and fights society, trying to just get along, pursue his dreams, and be who he wants to be. But eventually, he just gives up. In the end, he becomes an "invisible man" and blends into society, giving them exactly what they want. And this relates so strongly to the LGBT community - they have to either face the bullying and teasing that comes with "coming out of the closet," or they can deny themselves who they are, hide their feelings, and pretend they are something they aren't. Like the LGBT community, growing up hearing derogatory words about who they are, the black community of the narrator of Invisible Man was put in the same situation. It was made clear to him from a young age that he was an outcast, not an equal, and could never be fully accepted by society. If America so fully rebukes how we treated blacks 60 years ago, how can we say what we do to the LGBT community today is ok?